Friday, March 22, 2013

Surprise! James isn't who he said he was!

Dear Diary,
While I love the man I married, something seems to be a bit off lately. I often have talked to him about going back to the races since I had such a lovely time with him earlier this week, but he refuses. He has even gone as far as calling me a pretty horse-breaker. How could he say such a thing to me? He also mentions that he needs money for things that he cannot tell me of so suddenly. He could possibly be planning something for me, but James does not do such things. Rather he comes home to me slurring his words and occasionally roughing with me. He never did such things before we signed the license. My dear James, I love you so, but such things mustn't carry on. I am weary of scolding him for doing such things to me, but he does not listen. What am I to do? I cannot think to even tell my father, for he will grow angry toward me and never speak to me again. Oh, if only I had obeyed my father, I could be sitting with him now instead of wondering what could be of this wretched thing I have done! 

Dear Diary,
I decided to write to my father immediately after my last writing here. I am right now waiting for what my father has to say. I have also decided to leave James. I cannot look at him the same anymore. He has admitted to falling in love with another woman whom he met while getting a drink the other night. My heart is broken. I am going to leave this house because surely he is not my prince or any prince at all! He surely used me, and I feel so foolish! Where am I to go, though? I do not feel that I am welcome back at the Rue Saint-Dominique. I feel so ashamed, How could I do this to my father? How could I do this to my late mother who gave me the breath of life when she could no longer keep it! I have shamed my father's name! I have shamed everyone in Feldon! I cannot show my face there again! Where am I to go, what am I to do? I wish my father would write back soon; I feel so foolish.

Dear Diary,
My father has written back to me, but he wishes not to see me. Not until my name is to be changed back to Floyd. I spoke to James with my father's news, but he refuses to listen. Instead, he shares with me that he declines to hear anymore of my senseless request. All he wants from me is the riches that I keep in my purse. I am so ashamed. I have ruined my father! He will not enjoy my letter that I am to write him tonight. My hands already shake as the words fill my mind with what I am to say to my father. I love him so, how could I break my father's heart like this! I need to get this over with; he needs to know the situation and advise me further. I am to write him now!

Dear Diary,
I told my father of the tale that has unfolded, and he has advised me to do as follows. I am to tell James to rid of the license that has legally bound us together. He then proceeded to inform James of the money that he could receive if he leaves to Australia within the week. I am to tell him now of what my father has promised, and I shall write of his reply shortly!
...
He has refused to go! My father's insane amount of reward to him will not satisfy his wants! I cannot believe this, what a sinful, horrible man is he! Surely he will not be convinced to leave, and I will be forever reminded of my folly with him! My life is to always be connected to this fool's life for as long as I live. He does not love me, and he never will. My heart has been ripped from my chest; I simply cannot go on without the love of him or my father.

(One year later)

Dear Diary,
I have been back and forth between James and a hotel that has been my home for the past months without my father's knowledge. I have not written him much since the episode of me finding out about Mr. Conyers' cruel game, but I think I may have finally found a way out of his control. Yesterday, while we were riding around in the carriage arguing, James left to spend some of my father's money. While he was gone, a stranger came to me and spoke of how the law could be on my side. I was able to call upon an anachronism. While the idea was pleasing to thine ear, I could not shame my father's name more. Instead, when I left James, I knew it would be for good. I plan to write my husband of my plan of officially leaving him. I am to go home to my father immediately. I will be able to do this because I will inform my father of my husband's death. James needs not to worry; I have no intentions to kill that bastard, but it will be as if I had. I am telling him that I will continue to provide his greedy hands with enough money as to not bother me evermore! I will leave the letter addressed to James at the front, and will immediately send to my father an article of this horrid man's death. Then all should be at peace, and I will be able to go to the day's when I possessed my father's love. Oh! What a happy day it will be!

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